Disconnect To Reconnect With Your Spouse

Disconnect To Reconnect With Your Spouse

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I can feel the warmth and pressure of her hands on my knees as she leans over towards me and gently presses her soft lips against mine.  We continue to flirt and giggle like newlyweds while we wait for our flight to take us back to Indiana after a week away from the daily rigors of our life.


“I love you.” Alia whispers in my ear.

“I love you too.” I respond as Alia pulls away and our eyes meet and our souls connect.

I recently reviewed the results of survey conducted with several happily married couples.  The survey discerned some of the most common traits that were apparent in good marriages.  Over 60% of the happily married couples took vacations alone, away from their kids, so that they could reconnect as a couple and reignite a passion for one another.

Alia and I discovered this secret several years ago when she accompanied me on a business trip and decided to tack on a few extra days to explore the area together.  The trip proved so refreshing and helpful for our relationship that we decided to make it an annual event.

Our bodies are excellent adapters.  Like machines, our bodies will adapt to any stressor so that we may perform effectively; however, it wears us down over time and eventually begins to damage our relationships, especially, with our partners.

Facing the daily grind and demands of life without a break are the silent killers of marriage.  Unplugging from life and getting away with your significant other is like performing triage on a badly damaged body.  Whether we wish to admit it, our relationships are damaged and in need of repair.  Taking a trip to relax and unplug from life accomplishes four things that will elevate your marriage:

  1. It allows you to take a breath and slow down so your body can relax and realign with your spirit.
  1. It allows you and your spouse to regain some perspective in your life. You begin to realize that many of the issues that were bothering you just a short time ago are not really issues at all.  In fact, you can begin to let them go!
  1. It allows you to remember why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. When your work, chores, and kids are not competing for you attention, you begin to refocus on your spouse and notice things about him/her once again.  For me, it’s Alia’s eyes.  I love her eyes.  I love their shape, color, and the vibrant gaze she gives me when I steal a moment with her.  I lose that perspective and fail to notice her eyes when I’m in the grind of life.  I need to remember those little things about her and need some time alone with her to regain that level of appreciation.
  1. It sends a signal to your spouse and the rest of your family where priorities lie. When we leave the kids at home and take off without them.  It’s a reminder that they are not the only thing in our lives.  It sends a signal to our work colleagues that we have lives outside of work, but most important, it lets our spouse know that he/she is valuable to us.

Don’t overcomplicate your trip.  It can be a weekend getaway to a hotel a few miles down the road.  Or simply dropping off your kids to stay with the grandparents for the weekend.  Just be intentional about it and commit to unplug from life and spend focused time with one another and rediscover your identity with your spouse and get reacquainted with them once more. Most of all, fall in love with your spouse all over again.  Mark it down on your calendar and make a commitment for a getaway trip with your spouse.  You will be thankful and your relationship will be better for it!

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One comment

  1. Great article and very true.


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