Can You Conquer Yourself This Year?

Can You Conquer Yourself This Year?

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Have you ever heard the term, “the whisperer”?  Whenever someone has mastered a relationship with another being, like horses, dogs, or people, they are known as the “horse whisperer” or “dog whisperer”.  Most spend too much time and energy trying to master others, when what they need to do is master themselves.

Mastery is defined as control or superiority over someone of something.  Most people like to feel in control. They control their environment, people, pets, and life experiences, but how about their inner most self?

Are you out of control?  When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?  Do you like how you feel about yourself?  Do you go to bed at night with regret?  Maybe you wish you could control your eating or stop wasting time in front of the television.  Perhaps you wish you could control your temper and learn to relax more.  Whatever the issue, you feel like you can master many things in life, except your own inner being.  What can you do?

I won’t pretend that there are simple answers to the complexities that is your life; however, I can speak with confidence that you can conquer your inner demons, because I’ve done it myself.  I’m far from perfect.  Anyone close to me could bring mounds of evidence to convict me in a court of law for being an insensitive jerk.

There were times in my life that I failed as a husband, I dropped the ball in fatherhood, I was a horrible coworker, and a litany of other things that I just don’t have the time and energy to expend within this blog.  The good news; however, is my life, like yours, can have a very happy existence if you take the time to apply the following ideas:

  1. Acknowledge your misgivings.  Let’s face it.  You screw up, a lot.  You hurt people, especially those closest to you.  You can be selfish and can leave a trail of pain wherever you go.  How do I know this?  Because, you’re human and flawed by nature.  Failure is a part of life.  Trying to forget your failure and pretend it didn’t happen is not.  You must acknowledge your past mistakes and own them.
  1. Apologize.  I’ve spent a good portion of my life asking for forgiveness.  It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong.  Recognize when you hurt someone and be quick to make it right.  It’s amazing the amount of healing that will occur when you just take the time and have the courage to say, “I’m sorry”.
  1. Forgive yourself.  Part of the healing process is to let go of your guilt.  Yes, you messed up.  We all do and it’s healthy and wise to admit your mistakes, but it’s not healthy to hold onto those mistakes and allow guilt to become your companion.  When you admit your sins towards others and in the sight of God, you’re are forgiven.
  1. Get over it.  You mess up, you sin, and so what?  We all fail to be our best every single day.  We’re not meant to be perfect, in fact, it’s impossible.  No one person, except for Jesus Christ, has ever been perfect in the history of mankind.  Think about that for a moment.  We all suck to some degree!  Embrace your flaws, understand that it’s part of the journey, and just move on with your life.

You will fall short today, you won’t get everything done you wanted to finish, and you will probably let someone down.  It’s okay, dust yourself off and go to bed knowing that you are a child of God and you’re forgiven.  If you have some scar tissue on your heart and a seedy past, then own your baggage and make amends with those you hurt, especially yourself, and then get on with your life. Keep striving for your best and don’t be so hard on yourself.

Who do you need to apologize to today?  Do you need to forgive yourself?  What are you waiting for?

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  1. Thanks for the advise, Eric.

    Just yesterday my supervisor and I had a following out, tempers flared and I learned things that he thought was true about me, such as breaking into locked offices, which I can honestly say I never did.

    I know this is really bothering me, but following your words of encouragement I believe I can overlook this slight, along with others that he laid out on me.

    I feel I am a good employee, but have gotten the shaft more times than I can remember.

    Now that I am just a couple of years away from retirement (I will turn 64 this year), I think I can address those issues and then let them go, which is what I did yesterday. I did struggle with some of the issues overnight, but after reading this I believe I can take the high road and not be so hard on myself.

    Thanks again for the article.

    Rick Miell

    1. Hey Rick, thank you for sharing your story. Your experience is tough, especially when your integrity is questioned. I’ve been in your shoes several times, and it’s never easy. The truth will prevail, but keeping your cool and staying the course and controlling what you can control is the key. You can’t control what people think, but you can control what you think about them. Stay on the high road. It always leads to a better place. God bless you, my friend.


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